A guy and his girlfriend sit on a porch. The guy grabs the her breasts and says, "If these would give me milk, I wouldn't need my cows."
He grabs her crotch and says, "If this would give me eggs, I wouldn't need my chickens."
She grabs his d**k and says, "If this would get hard, I wouldn't need your brother."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.