CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.
I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.
OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
... just not in that way.
YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.
WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.
OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
There's no way I'm letting you think this is a date.
OH YES! RIGHT THERE!
Well, near there, I just want to get this over with.
I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
We're gonna get drunk and make fun of you and your friends.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.