A woman wants a facelift and her surgeon tells her about a new procedure. "We put a dial in the back of your head and when your skin starts to sag you simply turn the knob."
"That sounds good," she says.
Two years later, she goes back and tells the surgeon that the dial is giving her bags under her eyes.
"I'm sorry," replies the surgeon, "but those aren't bags -- those are your tits."
"Oh," says the woman, "well that explains the goatee."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.