-- Duct tape won't fix that.
-- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
-- We don't keep firearms in the house.
-- You can't feed that to the dog.
-- The kids can't ride in the back of the pickup -- it's just not safe.
-- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
-- We're vegetarians.
-- Do you think my gut is too big?
-- Honey, we don't need another dog.
-- Who's Richard Petty?
-- We could just share a small bag of pork rinds
.-- Too many deer heads detract from the decor
.-- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today
.-- Is there anything in this restaurant that's NOT fried?
-- The tires on that truck are too big.
-- I've got it all on the C drive.
-- There's too much sugar in this tea.
-- I believe you cooked those greens too long
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.