-- You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
-- If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
-- The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
-- You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some.
-- 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
-- If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
-- It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure.
-- You can do the whole neighborhood.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.