I'm on top of a moving train, and it's on fire. I'm f**king some girl, and Megan Fox is there, but I'm not having sex with her. She's like, 'Why am I even here?' And I'm like, 'To prove a point. Not everybody wants to f**k you, Megan Fox.'
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best stand-up specials for just $5.
Visit our CC Live page for live comedy events near you.