A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. How did this happen? the doctor asked. Well I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied. Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger? No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these, then I put it in my mouth and I thought, I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.