Three mice sit in a bar. The first one brags, "I am one bad ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of all of them."
The second one brags, "Well, I'm a bad ass mouse too. In my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed."
The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell, "Hey chicken, where do you think you're going?"
The third one replies, "Going home to f**k the cat."
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.