One day, a pod of whales was swimming along when a whaling vessel came along and captured the teeniest baby whale of them all. Angered, the dominant male whale got beneath the boat and began blowing through his blowhole until the boat capsized, throwing the sailors overboard. At this point, the other whales starting chanting.
"Eat them! Eat them!"
But this is where the male whale drew the line -- he'd blow sailors, but he wouldn't swallow seamen.
Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy is now available at the Comedy Central Shop.